The Joys of Taking Your Wife Fishing

The Joys of Taking your wife fishing

 

 

            When my wife and I had first gotten married, she had asked to come with me fishing in my bass boat. I agreed and we headed out on Fredericktown City Lake for a day of bass fishing. I don’t know if you other fisherman have the same problem I do (well, I don’t really think it is a problem) but I have a way of thinking that other people are not as skilled and great at fishing as I am, even if that someone is a family member. I like to break things down Barney style and explain to them why bass do what they do and how to catch them and I always start them out with baby steps. Things that I know will work, they may produce small fish, but they will produce a lot of fish and fun for whomever I take fishing with me. I took this approach when we set out on our fishing journey.

“Ok baby, you are going to use this beetle spin. It’s real easy to use, just cast it out and reel it in and I guarantee you are going to catch some fish.”

“If it works so well then why ain’t you using one?” Sandi asked as she pointed at the ribbon tailed worm I was getting ready to pitch along some brush.

“Well, these work too, but they are a little bit harder to use. Like I said, that one is easy, you just cast it out and reel it in.”

“Well I want to use what you are using.” She was making this difficult already and we had been on the water for five minutes.

“I want to use that rod and reel you are using too. You can cast farther with that one.”

I had rigged her up on a Zebco 33, once again a very simple outfit to use, just push the button and cast. I on the other hand was using my Diawa Super Duper Bass Catching Bait casting rig that was waaaay to advanced for such a novice fisherwoman.

“No baby. You will be frustrated all day backlashing and not catching fish. That Zebco will work just fine.”

“If it works so well then why ain’t you using it?” Geeeeezzz!

“Because I have been using them for a while and I know how to use it.”

She mulled up and I could tell that this fishing trip was not going to be as fun as it was supposed to be.

“Well crap!” Sandi said under her breath after making a beautiful cast along the rocky bank.

“What happened baby?”

“I am stuck.” Here we go. A day of getting her unstuck from the brush and listening to her question my bass fishing expertise.

“Hold on, I will get you unstu..” Before I could finish my sentence Sandi screamed, “I ain’t stuck I got a fish! Woohoo!” I watched as the two pound largemouth darted from the brush and began her beautiful dance on the water, shaking her head trying to free herself from the beetle spin that had lodged itself in the corner of her mouth. Sandi laughed the whole time she reeled in her first largemouth and laughed even harder as I lifted it from the water for her.

“That was fun. I want to catch another one.”

“See I told you that thing works.”

“Yes you did. Hey, I have caught one and you haven’t caught any!” She said and started laughing.

Oh, she done did it.

She made this a competition. I began casting harder along the bank, working lure after lure with every presentation I could think of for the situation we was fishing. Nothing was hitting what I was throwing and on top of that I started backlashing my reel about every other cast and had to spend precious minutes picking out the bird nest of line. Several more times that day I heard her squeal and laugh as she reeled in bluegill and perch, one after another as she gave off a count of what fish she was on and how I was still at zero. I tried to save face by saying bluegill and perch didn’t count; making up my own rules as we went only to have her point out that she had caught a bass and I still hadn’t caught anything.

“I guess I am just a better fisherman than you are huh?” She would say. It was embarrassing and I was ready to say I was taking my ball and going home when I got a bite. Finally the fishing God’s had felt that I had taken enough punishment from my wife and would grant me the fish that would tie us up and I wouldn’t have to hear how she was a better fisherman than I was. The fish nibbled again, I set the hook and missed.

“Dadgummit!” I shouted at the water as Sandi giggled in the seat behind me. “Did you miss one honey?” She asked mockingly.

            We eased our boat around the concrete dam to where a small log jam had formed after some heavy rain we had had several weeks back. I watched as my wife made the most beautiful cast I had ever seen. That beetle spin gracefully soared thru the air, landing in the crook of a log without a splash as her line lightly touched the water without even catching on an overhanging limb. “Crap, that isn’t were I wanted it.” She said. Whether it was or wasn’t it was a beautiful cast that would have made Kevin Van Dam proud.

“Dang it! I’m stuck.” Hahaha finally the great fisherman had fallen I had thought to myself.

“No, wait! I got a fish! Holy cow he’s huge!” Dang you fishing God’s! Whose side you on here!?

It was a good bass, probably pushing four pounds.

“Looks smaller than the one you caught earlier.” I said.

“No it’s not! He’s huge! It’s a lot bigger than the one you caught.” She said giggling and laughing loudly as she studied her catch.

Luckily it was time for us to head home so that we could meet the kids when they got home from school and I didn’t have to take anymore bashing on the lake. She smiled the whole way home, poking me in the side and telling me about how much fun it was to catch those fish. I am not sure what she had more fun doing, razzing me for not catching a thing or actually catching the mess of fish that she did, but it didn’t matter. She was happy and had enjoyed doing something that I love to do. As we got out of the truck to unhook our boat at the house Sandi said, “I am glad you showed me that beetle spin that is all they wanted to eat today.” And just like that she made me feel victorious again. She was right. I did show her what to use and she caught fish so the day wasn’t a total bust for me; I was able to show her how to use the basics to catch fish and she had fun spending time with me catching fish. I was still a fishing expert. I puffed my chest out a little bit, walked a little bit straighter and said, “Yep, just wanted you to catch some fish baby. Wasn’t really worried if I caught any you know?” I lied.

“Uh huh. And I am sure you let me win too didn’t ya?” She said with a smile.

“Yeah that’s what it was; I let you catch all of them so you would have fun.”

“You’re so full of crap! I out fished you! Woohoo! I am a better fisherman!” She shouted as she walked to the house.

I hung my head again and laughed.